Oh...Mah....Gah...

As you know, last weekend I went to California to surprise my dad for his 65th birthday. Laurie, Nikki, Zac, Jack, and Shawn all flew in and we successfully pulled off the surprise with no hitches or glitches. We all had a fabulous time, and as usual had to practically tear ourselves away from each other when it was time to leave on Sunday.

However, the plane ride there was quite....enlightening. Leave it to a plane ride to make you thank the Lord above for your normal-ness. Picture it, if you will. I was seated on the aisle - a must for me while traveling. I get panicky if I can't get up to pee. And if I'm stuck in the middle, then without fail the dolt who is sitting on the aisle never fails to fall asleep with his tray table down and I'm trapped to worry about the long term effects on my bladder from holding my pee for two hours. Anyway, so I was sitting on the aisle. Across and one row up from me was a man and his six or seven year old son. Directly across the aisle from me, and behind the man, was his very tired looking wife and a sleeping toddler. Directly behind me was another man, his wife, and their 4 or 5 year old son. They were all traveling together, and due to the fact that they thought it was humorous to banter with each other in voices loud enough that the entire plane could hear, I learned that they were from Atlanta, had never been to California, they forced me to listen while they debated on whether it "counted" if you only visited the airport of a city so you could actually say you had been to that city, they listed off their favorite airports which included Topeka and Tulsa (ooo...world travelers!!), then complained about being up since 4 am their time, discovered someone forgot to pack his toothbrush, which reminded the other that he ran out of gum on the first flight and forgot to buy more gum in Dallas, and then they both compared the prices of what they all paid for their tickets in relation to what they actually were fed on the plane. Don't you find this annoying? You know, like when people banter back and forth and think that they're being really clever and funny so they raise their voices in the hopes that the surrounding people will think to themselves, "Gee. That guy is really clever and funny. I wish he was my friend." But in reality, we're all annoyed at the sound of your nasal Atlanta twang. I did, however, overhear a few things that made me actually LOL. Like, OMG...

The six year old boy across and up from me was a terror. An, "Oh my GOD thank you sweet baby Jesus that my kid isn't anything like that kid" kind of terror. And the father was so busy with his comic side show that he didn't ever feel the need to discipline the dear child, who was loudly tap dancing his shoes on the back of the tray table, singing in gibberish to himself, hooting like an owl repeatedly, etc. Dad finally had enough and lightly (yes, lightly) cuffed the brat on the back of the head and told him to "knock it off!". (I would have thrown him out the emergency exit door...ahem.) The boy grabbed the back of his head and hollered, "Ow! DAD!!! Was that really nethethary??!!" Yes my boy, it was.

As we were coming in for our landing to the Burbank airport, we were skirting up the Pacific Coastline on our left side of the plane. The comedian was excitedly taking pictures of the ocean out of his plane window. He loudly told his friend behind me to, "look at the ocean, man!" Then he said something that actually made me look around to see if anyone heard him like I did...."Look out your window, man! Can you see it, too??!!" Think about it for a minute. The coast is on the left and he's asking his friend to look out the right side of the plane... Yes!!! My shoulders were shaking, my face was red, and I was desperately trying not to spit out my cranapple juice. Then about two minutes later, "Can you see it yet? Look out your window again!!". To which the equally brilliant friend replied, "Nope! Can't see it yet!!" I was beside myself, I was actually starting to sweat a little from trying to refrain my guffaws and my laughter. I peeked at my other neighbors, but nobody seemed to be catching on to this. How could they not hear this?? Am I surrounded by Bill Engvall and Jeff Foxworthy?? Is this for real?? He honestly can't understand why he can see the ocean out the left side of the plane, but not the right side? This went on until we landed. And apparantly judging by the way the plane was slammed down onto the runway, that particular day must have been new pilot training day at American Airlines.