Wake Up People!

Hola muchachos. What's shakin?

Is anyone else as nervous as I am about this election? I guess that's kind of like asking, Does anyone else want food - ever - for the rest of your lives? I assume that yes, you are. I'm shocked, no make that SHOCKED over the "mob mentality" that has developed over all of this. It's like half of America has lost their minds, their abilities to think for themselves, their own opinions. Gone. Poof! People have come to trust what the media tells them as truth. Here's a newsflash of my own, peeps: The media tells you what they WANT to tell you! They tell you what gets ratings! And right now - Obama is the Ratings King. The media darling. Not only does he evidently have the ability to walk on water and enchant millions with his perfect Crest white smile, but he apparently is going to be able to singlehandedly pull this country out of debt, win all wars, pay off foreclosed mortgages, not raise taxes, give us all health care, give us 5 million new jobs (Joe actually said that himself), and above all - give us the Change We Need.

One of his many brilliant ideas is to tax the crap out of corporate America. In doing so, this will more than likely force most employers (probably YOUR employer) to institute lay-offs in order to afford said tax hikes. Hmmm. Lay-offs means a higher unemployment rate last time I checked. And where is he going to get the money to pay for these bought out mortgages, these tax credits to the middle class? We're broke people. We owe money to everyone and CHINA, but he's doing to somehow squeeze out a spare billion or so in order to pull off these promises. All without raising taxes. Wow. I need him to reconcile my check book at the end of the month. I wonder how much he'll save me??

And when did it become a good idea to re institute socialism? This whole government run health care issue is totally terrifying. Didn't anyone stop to ask German citizens how much they like their health care system? Or Canadians? I just can't help but wonder why the world comes to the United States to receive breakthru surgeries, to visit specialists. Who invented the first permanently-implantable artificial heart? An American surgeon. Who invented the first cardiac pacemaker? An American surgeon. Hmmm. Interesting.

Did he make good on one promise he made when running for Senate? Nope. Did he cut any taxes? Nope. Did he institute a single law? Nope. Has anyone really asked him why? Nope. And why is that? Why is it ok to lie as long as people are hearing what they want to hear?

So, now we have the snarling and horrible and (gasp!) old Republican in the other corner. Who has made the tragic mistake of not telling the people what they want to hear. He doesn't sugar coat everything, he doesn't say that it's all going to be ok the moment he's elected, he doesn't promise to tax the demonic corporate America. He tells the truth. He's bipartisan and doesn't vote down the board as Republican, he votes for what he believes in. He doesn't vote for bills that are worded incorrectly, or have hidden agendas. He calls it like he sees it and he says what's on his mind. How awful. Horrible!! How could he?? He's not supposed to tell us the truth! He's not supposed to tell us how things are really pretty darned bad. And above all he's NOT supposed to tell us that he won't be able to fix these problems ASAP. Oh, and that darned war. Forgot about that for a minute, I must have been blinded by the gleam of Obama's smile. Can't win that overnight either, folks. Bummer, dude. And the icing on the cake? He's old. But whatever you do, don't take into account that his mother is 94 and can probably out think us all on her worst day. He's old. OLD! Everyone knows that you die the moment you turn 73 or take over the Presidency, whichever comes first. It's a rule.

So, in what has turned into the equivalent of a high school Class Presidency election (aka Popularity Contest), I'm afraid of who is going to win. I'm afraid that all anyone is seeing is the Media Darling with his perfect teeth, his un-crooked neck, his Pac-Man smile. I'm afraid that all anyone is hearing is his rich baritone voice, his perfect annunciations and emphasis while speaking, the way he freely moves around the stage as he speaks. So not old. So not stiff.

After all, that's what really qualifies you as President of the United States, isn't it? The most photogenic and most articulate wins. Sort of like Best Actor up for an Oscar. If he looks good and delivers his lines well, he wins. That really is all it takes to be our Commander in Chief, right?